John Kettler Tue 26 Jul 2011, 5:45 pm
SonicSal,
My sister-in-law was out of town for about a month, during which she visited friends in Chicago, visited her daughter in Phoenix, then headed out to Sedona, Arizona to help her husband put together their beautiful red rock view home. I figured she'd come home relaxed and refreshed. More like barely got back and was spoiling for a fight! Mercifully, the first round was short, after which things calmed down and rational discussions were held, but last night, she flew into multiple tirades, her face changed color and her eyes bulged as she basically flayed me alive. Mood Alert certainly got that one right!
Under current tasking, I'm supposed to spend half my time looking for a CPA, half looking for housing, immediately find a job to replace the tutoring job which didn't start right away, like that was my fault, spend half my time working on my business, write not one but now two business plans (was working on one for State of Texas rehab agency, but my counselor retired on no notice, and the agreement was to use that plan's rough draft to obtain a new computer, software,iPhones, etc. for my emerging E-book business and to backstop the main marketing business, which is beginning to take off) and read THE E-MYTH REVISITED and THE PORTABLE MBA ON ENTREPRENEURSHIP.See any problem there? The reading assignments are courtesy of her husband, who thought I was doing nothing after having secured the tutoring job and took a chunk out of me because of his ignorance and assumptions. Was he surprised when I confronted him and informed him I'd personally secured several contracts (one from the tutoring franchisees) and that we were putting systems into place which prospects welcomed, customers loved and would be cash cows for us. Despite the maulings the planet handed out, while she was gone I was super productive, felt useful and good about myself, not to mention optimistic. In less than two days, I've gone from feeling great about myself to more like a whipped, micromanaged, frequently yelled at and unwanted dog. Depending on her mood, I totally deserve all the government support I'm getting or I should apparently being working 60 hours a week, despite being officially classified as disabled. Based on my discussions with my brother, I thought I was back to the end of the year for a departure date, but the tirade queen is adamant I'm gone by the end of September. She wants me to be independent, yet insists someone else manage my money, stand on my own two feet while being utterly subservient to her every wish/order, comply without any mouthing off or backtalk. Any wings I grow are ripped out bodily, my legs are sawn off, and she rejects every idea I propose. She also is trying to tell me how to run my businesses--having never had one herself! As a great SF book was titled, I HAVE NO MOUTH, BUT I MUST SCREAM. Very accurate characterization of my present state. Unsurprisingly, the savaging forced me to take a chill pill, a pain med, spend an hour on the phone with a friend and really screwed up getting to sleep later. She greeted me today as though nothing ever happened. Gah!!! It's 12:47 pm. CDT.
John
Given the extreme reactivity she's exhibiting, I feel a) she's got major issues having nothing to do with me, but I'm a safe target and b) that this kind of behavior is a bellwether for a large, destructive event. Worse, I'm going to have to figure out a way to set some boundaries without pitched out on my ear, especially if my brother feels I've disrespected his wife. She can lash out, but I can't reply in kind, and she's attacking a person with multiple disabilities and is probably deemed a senior citizen under the law, making her a bully and a coward.