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    Calibabe-Info about Why to Shield Your Son

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    beejean

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    Join date : 2010-02-20
    Location : Boston area

    Calibabe-Info about Why to Shield Your Son

    Post  beejean on Sat 09 Jul 2011, 5:02 pm

    Dear Calibabe:

    I have been thinking about what you wrote in personal for a long time, because my sons are going through the results of the economic malaise right now too.

    Here is an article link I found on MSNBC site;
    Effects Of Low Employment on Young Adults

    geek Geeks aren't getting jobs, and neither are study students, and silent even the big sales companies can't find a way to support hiring a lot of people to sell their stuff.

    Your Mom is being a bit unfair and is not thinking straight scratch so add that all together and YOU need a hug cheers and a bit of encouragement. I suppose we need to be grateful for having the basic survival tools and stick-to-itiveness to get us through our days. It feels like living in a world that's out of balance right now, and I commiserate. I hope that you are able to get away and enjoy the outdoors a bit this summer so that you can take your mind off the stress of the tiring demands you have. Best wishes... I love you
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    Calibabe
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    Location : Northridge CA

    Re: Calibabe-Info about Why to Shield Your Son

    Post  Calibabe on Wed 10 Aug 2011, 11:36 pm

    Oh thank you so much beejean.

    There are good days and bad days. I guess that goes with the territory. One thing I do know is that I guess things could be worse.

    I just hate it for my son. He is a really, really good kid. He is 20, will be 21 in September. He doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke, he doesn't do drugs, he doesn't hang out with the wrong people. He is not in trouble. Frankly, my hubby and I are blessed in that he is such a good kid. So it is really troubling when he hears his grandmother, someone who is supposed to give unconditional love, badmouthing him. But according to my husband, she has been this way all her life. Would have loved to known that before we brought her in. That much is for sure. She has even gone after my husband verbally several times. She came into my bedroom one day when I was really feeling bad (I have Crohn's disease and now have Acute Idopathic Pancreatitis) and accused me of stealing her rings. It got so bad that I picked up the phone and called my husband and told him to come home. She then got so verbally abusive that I lost my cool and told her to "GET OUT". At that point she sat down on her bed and started to cry. Well I felt like a really shit at that point and sat down and hugged her and told her that everything would be alright. We know have issues with her regarding her keeping herself bathed. She now steals food, why we don't know. We never restrict anything nor have we ever restricted anything from her. So now we have to keep drinks (like soda, fruit juices, etc.) in our closet until we are ready to open them. We can't keep potato chips around because she will steal the bag. Cakes forget about it. She will literally slice 3/4 of the cake off in a day and then tell us she doesn't want dinner. Last night I made her pasta. Took it into her room steaming hot and she came out about 20 minutes later and said "I can't eat this it is cold". Offered to heat it up in microwave but she declined. Some days it is a fight others it is alright. She also doesn't understand what is being said. I guess the receptors in the brain aren't firing correctly and when we sit at the table and talk, she will just stare off into space. She doesn't contribute to a conversation unless she is telling us about her hearing or her eyesight. Both of which she says are bad. She has a television in her room and she watches tennis or the news. When I took her to the doctor several years ago and she was diagnosed with Alzheimers she was given an RX for Aricept for her condition. Unfortunately she only took one, said it made her sick and didn't take anything further. She also used to take blood pressure medication but that seems to have stabilized. She has had a nasty case of psorasis which just continues to be irritated by the fact that she doesn't want to get in the shower. I have gone in almost every other day and asked and she tells me that she doesn't feel well and is dizzy. So we leave it up to her. We have been in consultation with her physician and with an agency that specializes in treating people with her condition and they say not to push as that can antagonize her. That we don't want to do. I also have to be careful because I can't lift her if she were to fall. All in all it could be worse but it also could be better. Her other son, my hubby's brother wants nothing to do with her due to something that happened years ago. So it is left to us to care for her as best we can until such time as we are forced to place her into a care facility.

    I just wish for my son that it wasn't so hurtful. He misses my mom so much. She passed away on 12/26/03 and they shared the same birthday in September. They were very close because of that. My mom was a really good person and was a great grandmother to my kids. She went out of her way to always think of them and did things for them. They really miss her a lot, as do I. Crying or Very sad


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    "So let's sink another drink,'Cause it'll give me time to think, If I had the chance, I'd ask the world to dance
    And I'll be dancing with myself"-Billy Idol
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    beejean

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    Location : Boston area

    info about surviving the capsule house effect

    Post  beejean on Fri 12 Aug 2011, 2:02 am

    re: info about surviving the capsule house effect...
    Now i'm thinking you're very brave to have maladies and still keep plugging along with the chores of managing your foodstuffs with uncertain drawdowns of groceries with no rhyme or reason, range burner safety controls and settings,door locks, kitchen cabinet locks, etc.

    Not to mention the frequent searches for misplaced items and then the frequent unexpected behaviors and attitudes that involve mis-apprehenion of events and mis-understandings being the frequent results of communications.

    All this when you're kind of more likely to stay close to home (the capsule house effect) can get you into this kind of analyzing the problematic behaviors of everyone at home. You are
    actually doing great ! But do get away, if you can visit some friends for a couple of days at a time every couple weeks that would help you to decompress. Hope you will exercise the heavenly virtues of patience and hope these days. keep your strength up. Best wishes from beejean
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    Calibabe
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    Re: Calibabe-Info about Why to Shield Your Son

    Post  Calibabe on Fri 12 Aug 2011, 9:31 pm

    beejean wrote:re: info about surviving the capsule house effect...
    Now i'm thinking you're very brave to have maladies and still keep plugging along with the chores of managing your foodstuffs with uncertain drawdowns of groceries with no rhyme or reason, range burner safety controls and settings,door locks, kitchen cabinet locks, etc.

    Not to mention the frequent searches for misplaced items and then the frequent unexpected behaviors and attitudes that involve mis-apprehenion of events and mis-understandings being the frequent results of communications.

    All this when you're kind of more likely to stay close to home (the capsule house effect) can get you into this kind of analyzing the problematic behaviors of everyone at home. You are
    actually doing great ! But do get away, if you can visit some friends for a couple of days at a time every couple weeks that would help you to decompress. Hope you will exercise the heavenly virtues of patience and hope these days. keep your strength up. Best wishes from beejean


    Patience is all that I have left beejean. That and I do my morning prayers and my rosary. I always ask for strength and for God's guidance in all things. Somedays are better than others. It is just something that I have learned to accept at this point in time. I do try to do stuff with my son so that he has an outlet. About three weeks ago we went to the harbor in L.A. for Navy Week and saw the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln. Was an absolute blast. He had a great time and so did I. Hopefully we can find useful activities to do and it gets him away from here. He usually works out nightly and goes to the gym so that is good for him.

    Thanks so much for your opinion. Sometimes when you are buried in the forest it is hard to see the trees.


    _________________
    "So let's sink another drink,'Cause it'll give me time to think, If I had the chance, I'd ask the world to dance
    And I'll be dancing with myself"-Billy Idol

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