Tiger Woods

I saw the Tiger Woods speech a little while ago and wound up with teary eyes. Others were sniffling too. His family has been attacked, the news media have followed his children, he has no privacy, his life has been wrecked, and it is by his own doing which he admitted. He admitted fully his unfaithfulness and his addiction and said that he was actively seeking help.

You know I understand where he is coming from because I have made mistakes in my own life to which I regretted terribly. I did things that wound up hurting my own family. That was a quarter century ago. I also had to undergo therapy. But passing through the fire changed my own life, and as Tiger said, "I need to become centered, to find my spirituality" and to seek the important things in life. He asked for prayers and help from the community and apologized for all the grief he had caused.

I here you Betty.

I think we can all identify with the fact that being human beings we all make mistakes we would certainly like to re-do and not do them again.

That said, while I can understand his need to apologize to his sponsors and those who admired him, if I were his wife, I would have put him to the curb.

There is a lot that I can put up with. Cheating however is the real deal breaker for me. One and done.

Calibabe wrote:I here you Betty.

I think we can all identify with the fact that being human beings we all make mistakes we would certainly like to re-do and not do them again.

That said, while I can understand his need to apologize to his sponsors and those who admired him, if I were his wife, I would have put him to the curb.

There is a lot that I can put up with. Cheating however is the real deal breaker for me. One and done.

I really do understand how husbands/wives feel about cheating because the Church has taught against adultery for ages, the law forbids it, and custom looks down on it. That said, I sincerely believe that a person can love multiple people and love them both dearly and equally at the same time. The one may satisfy a need that the other doesn't. Anyway, the lack of forgiveness and understanding is the reason for so many divorces in this world.

This is a hard concept for today's society to consider. Yet, in the ancient days, men had multiple wives, just as a bull has a herd of cows. I think that society has put the lock and key on man & woman's sexuality--restricting that person to one mate. Still, when you are talking of children and a family relationship it is probably best and is the ultimate answer.

My husband has never strayed (to my knowledge) and I have never had a reason to be jealous in 43 years. I often told him he could get a mistress if she would do windows! I found myself exceedingly tired during the time we were raising our three children and I was managing a large family business. I had dinner on the table every night at 6:30, helped the kids with their homework, attended the myriad of activities--scouts, baseball, football, dance, gymnastics, piano lessons, theatre etc.--in short, I was exhausted and when he had that lovin feeling, I often had the perverbial headache. At times I wished I was a clone.

In societies where there are multiple wives, the first wife rules and the younger ones do the work. Of course, some societies like middle eastern where they do not respect womanhood and treat them like cattle, I feel are totally on the negative path.

I may be dead wrong in my thinking here but I have often questioned why if we have such strong drives to love and be loved that a God who is love constrains us from that inner need.

Just my thoughts and I know that there are many ways to look at this situation. Should Tiger's wife forgive him if he makes an honest effort to cure his problem? What do you think?
Betty

Hi Betty
heres my thought

If one belongs to society or country where it is accepted to have mutiple wives it is not called adultry ..Adultry is a fancy word its called cheating for a reason its the lieing the sneaking and all that goes with it, often put upon an unspecting or unwilling other party .. If someone betrays a trust and causes pain and hurt upon another you can rationalize all you want but its wrong...
Should two consenting adults decide to have an open relationship thats their decision and its not called cheating..
but no one has the right to
betray and hurt another intentionally no matter what you call it
IMHO

quaker wrote:Hi Betty
heres my thought

If one belongs to society or country where it is accepted to have mutiple wives it is not called adultry ..Adultry is a fancy word its called cheating for a reason its the lieing the sneaking and all that goes with it, often put upon an unspecting or unwilling other party .. If someone betrays a trust and causes pain and hurt upon another you can rationalize all you want but its wrong...
Should two consenting adults decide to have an open relationship thats their decision and its not called cheating..
but no one has the right to
betray and hurt another intentionally no matter what you call it
IMHO

Hi Quaker, Boy do I agree with you!"If someone betrays a trust and causes pain and hurt upon another you can rationalize all you want but its wrong..." I know what thats all about. I have had two husbands cheat on me and it so horribly tears your heart apart that you can not ever trust and give your heart wholly again. Even though I have had healing over the years.

I DO NOT AGREE IN ANY WAY WHAT TIGER HAS DON, HOWEVER; I FEEL STRONGLY THIS MAN WAS GIVEN MANY PERKS MY THESE SPONCERS INCLUDING AND NOT LIMITED TO: WOMAN, PRODUCTS, TRIPS, MONEY, DID I SAY WOMEN OF THE NIGHT, LOL...
I JUST FEEL THAT HIS WIFE KNEW THIS MAN WAS TARGETED BY MANY TYPES OF PEOPLE AND BUSINESSES, AS EVERYONE LOVES A WINNER. HE TOOK FREELY WHAT HAS BEEN A PERK FOR HIM FOR A VERY LONG TIME NOW. HIS WIFE, I AM SURE, KNEW HIS MANY TEMPTATIONS BEFORE THEY WERE MARRIED.
IT IS THE CHILDREN I FEEL SORRY FOR, THOSE TWO CAN GET ON WITH THEIR LIVES, THEY WILL NEVER EVER BE THE SAME IF THEIR PARENTS THROW IN THE TOWEL.
I AM VERY OLD FASHION, PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS MAKE STUPID MISTAKES, THAT IS WHY WE TAKE VOWS STATING "FOR BETTER OR WORSE"/
THIS IS MY OPINION ONLY, BUT I FEEL IT IS PRO FAMILY,

Tiger is human, I'll give him that. However, I agree with many here that when you have made a commitment to one person, and had children together, in a society where manogomy is the accepted "norm" or "rule of law" then you have a responsibility to your spouse and children to maintain and abide by this commitment. This applies to both men and women equally.

Furthermore on an additional note, when an individual, male or female, ascends to a position or social status where they could be "adopted" as a role model, that individual has a responsibility not only to their spouse and children, but to society to maintain that commitment, Period.

I personally don't care if you're JFK with Marilyn Monroe, Magic Johnson with his Aids girlfriend, the Governor of South Carolina with his Argentine Mistress, David Letterman, Jimmy Swaggart, Bill Clinton ... and the list goes on and on ... IF YOU CAN'T KEEP YOUR PECKER IN YOUR PANTS, AND BE FAITHFUL TO THE COMMITMENT YOU MADE TO YOUR SPOUSE ... YOU ARE NO LONGER DESERVE ANY PUBLICITY, FAME OR NOTORIETY, REGARDLESS OF WHO YOU ARE OR WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

I just want to make a final comment on this thread. I do not want others to have the opinion that I condone what Tiger did. Not at all. He did not act as a responsible husband and father in any way.

I was just trying to express the idea that if a person who has committed an act which society rules as immoral, and is genuinely sorry for that act, and if he/she seeks help and forgiveness and makes a true effort to put the past behind and to go forward on a different path, as Tinna said, "you marry for better or for worse" and you agree to accept the person in their bad moments as well as their good ones. (Is that a run-on sentence or what ) He does have his children to think of in the future and should have been thinking of wife & kids when he committed himself to a life of fooling around. Fame and fortune does not give you the right to crawl in bed with every willing female that smiles at you.

But can a person be big enough to forgive if their partner is sincerely regretful of his actions and sets his course on a higher path? That is the big question I raised.
Betty

Betty in Texas wrote:I just want to make a final comment on this thread. I do not want others to have the opinion that I condone what Tiger did. Not at all. He did not act as a responsible husband and father in any way.

I was just trying to express the idea that if a person who has committed an act which society rules as immoral, and is genuinely sorry for that act, and if he/she seeks help and forgiveness and makes a true effort to put the past behind and to go forward on a different path, as Tinna said, "you marry for better or for worse" and you agree to accept the person in their bad moments as well as their good ones. (Is that a run-on sentence or what ) He does have his children to think of in the future and should have been thinking of wife & kids when he committed himself to a life of fooling around. Fame and fortune does not give you the right to crawl in bed with every willing female that smiles at you.

But can a person be big enough to forgive if their partner is sincerely regretful of his actions and sets his course on a higher path? That is the big question I raised.
Betty

I suppose a person could forgive if they feel their partner is sincerely regretful of his/her actions and sets the course right. However, if Tiger's wife had not found the cell phone with the text messages and had the argument that ensued never happened or the accident, would he still be doing what he was doing? Probably. I think that is the point that would be for me to get past if I were his wife.

For 22 years I have been in a monogamous relationship. I would not think of straying and neither would my husband. He knows that Lorena Bobbit is my here (not really but I do use her as an example when we talk about this kind of stuff) With that story there were two distinct reactions. Women read the story and laughed and guys cringed. I said to my husband that the only mistake she made was the fact that she left with his thingy in her hand and then threw it out into a field. I would have put it down the garbage disposal or in the Cuisnart. I just always laugh about the fact that they had to call out a search dog with its handler to look for that thing. That must still be one of those memorable calls that you have when you do that job.

I hope for the sake of their children that they can manage with therapy and help, and with time and actions that show her that he is committed to her, that they will be able to repair their marriage. However right now I would say that deck is stacked highly against them. I would be really scared, if I were her, knowing the multiple partners that have come forward. Just the porn actress alone. He basicallly slept with her. In doing so, he effectively slept with everyone that she had sex with and that they had sex with and on and on. As you can see the pyramid gets bigger as you go along. That for me would be a huge stumbling block.

I wish them luck. They are certainly going to need that in the days, weeks, months and years to come.

LOL ..Lorena Bobbit ......whens shes not at your house she lives in mine
A little reminder of ole Lorena and you gotta sleep sometime keeps things in perspective